Japan as the land of contradictions, the benefits of teaching ESL, and our Mona Neko T-shirts

Japan is nothing if not a land of contradictions, where you can connect to the Internet via a high speed cellular connection while speeding on a fast shinkansen, and yet there are still fish-sellers who ride around on bicycles selling fish to households door-to-door, where technology is embraced while traditions, even stupid ones like the guy coming to each house in our neighborhood to collect our 2000 yen NHK fee every month, are preserved. I always enjoy making trips to Tokyo, where you can see an incredible range of on the train with you: the salaryman, the teenager rapidly thumbing her keitai (portable phone), high school girls talking in their own world...and then a gothic lolita, a cute girl wearing a 19th century maid uniform, staring out the window as she waits for her stop. I thought Japan was supposed to be famous for conformity? I guess I don't have this place figured out yet...

If you ever want to learn a subject well, I recommend you try teaching it. When I came to Japan to teach English as a Second Language, I had no idea how much of my own language I didn't understand, and yet in order to do right by my students I had to learn. For better or worse, the Japanese usually study English with a focus on grammar and vocabulary, since that's what appears on university entrance exams (none of this namby-pamby "communicative" English for them, thanks). When a student asks why an infinitive verb (futeishi) is used in a particular sentence instead of a gerend (domeishi), you want to give him an answer more substantive than "it just sounds better that way." One especially difficult part of English are two-word verbs like "take out" "take off" "take over" and so on. Why does "throw up" mean something different from "throw out"? My time as a teacher gave me a lot of respect for anyone who can tackle something as difficult as English, with its dizzying mix of cris- crossing rules and exceptions.

The Japanese have really embraced online culture, as seen by the grown of mammoth communities like famous 2ch BBS (pronounced "ni channel"). In addition to spawning the true story of Densha Otoko, in which an geeky otaku found love with a beautiful woman by asking for advice from readers of the BBS, 2ch is also a popular place for ASCII-art creation, the most famous being the Mona Neko cats. Mona Neko (whose name comes from the Japanese phrase Omae mo na! or "The same to you!" used in online flame wars on 2ch) and his friends have become such a popular symbol of Internet culture in Japan, we decided to make some wacky T-shirts as a tribute, which are on the site now: an image of the Mona Neko cats drinking their sake (they love sake), and a fun tribute to "panchira" (which all men love, whether they admit it or not) Be sure to check out the wacky Japanese Numa Numa video here, with attempts at matching the words with Japanese meanings, here. (It's really cool, I watch this silly thing a few times a day.)

One of the most anticipated snack treats from Japan is finally here: the delicious winter-only Melty Kiss, delicious fudge cubes coated with cocoa powder that are heavenly to eat. The name is also one of the most bizarre and fun bits of wasei eigo (lit. "made in Japan English"), capturing the image of a warm stolen kiss with snow falling all around you. We've got all three flavors for 2005 in stock: Precious Cocoa, Matcha (Green Tea) and Strawberry!

Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work." To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	2006 Calendar - STUDIO GHIBLI (No Tube). Always the best-selling calendar at J-List, this it the 2006 Studio Ghibli calendar which we got restocked today. The cool thing about this is, all the illustrations are original and new every year -- they provide a window into Mr. Miyazaki's mind that no other product can offer.
	iPod nano Leather Case -- Matte Black. Another case for the iPod nano, sold by Elecom, the top electronics maker in Japan. I happen to have a 5th gen iPod but I more than half wish I had a nano when I look at this case.
	Nintendo Controller Alarm Clock w/ Rapid-Fire Game. Is this cool, or what? An alarm clock shaped like an original Nintendo controller. Comes with a game you can play!
	The Weeding Wife ~ Shitagariya. Excellent manga by Kagura Yutakamaru, whose works are featured quite prominently in the AG comics.
	Dix-Neuf Buster Machine -- Top wo Nerae 2! ~ Reach for the Top! 2 Gunbuster. Among other things, I am a fan of all things Gainax. Gunbuster, aka Aim for the Top, was one of the best anime series ever. This is the Buster Machine Dix-Neuf from Aim for the Top 2! which no one has seen, but I love it so much I decided to carry the Dix-Neuf mech anyway.
	Japanese T-shirt - Mona Neko Trio - Standard Men's. Nice shirt design featuring the Mona Neko cats, who started out as ASCII creations but were so nicely animated here that we decided to make some cool T-shirts based on these characters.
	Japanese T-shirt - Girl & Mona Neko Cats - Standard Men's. Another Mona shirt. "Panchira" is the quick glimpse of a girl's panties, and of course this is one of the coolect things in the universe. Am I right, guys?
	Tempura Onigiri Nyanko Plush -- Tenpura & Onigiri. In case you don't have enough cute stuff in your life, here's a plush tempura shrimp kitty rice ball from San-X.
	To Heart Collection Figures -- Full Set + Rare Item *Set of 7*. Another special item, these are the figures from the To Heart anime series, which started out as a really killer "H" game by the way. Try to get anyone to admit to that now.
	Hello Kitty Stamp ~ "Geishun" (Happy New Year) w/Fujiyama - Blue Ink. New Year's Day is very big in Japan, and stamps for making New Year's Cards (nengajo) are always a hit at J-List. We've got the traditional as well as the cute this year.
	DEEPS Employee's Female Dormitory. Another "female employee" offering from Deep's, which will show you the secret sex lives of the girls who work at the company. Uh-huh.
	Meiji Melty Kiss -- Matcha (Green Tea). Melty Kiss is here! Up there with "crunky" and "mapple" as the strangest product names in Japan, Melty Kiss is a delicious kiss of melty fudge to warm your winter heart.
	Comic AG Super Erotic Manga Anthology vol. 23. Surprise! A new issue of AG, the English translated manga of art, sex and CG culture, lovingly published by Icarus Comics. By the way, if you're looking for back issues, we've got handy discount sets for you.
	Kitty Christmas Ornament ~ Candy Stick. We have more Christmas ornaments for you featurng Hello Kitty. So cute!
	B2UP - Bust Up Gum. By customer request, we've got more Bust Up Gum on the site -- and this time, it's in stock in San Diego, so the shipping is a lot cheaper. Enjoy some bust up gum today!

The nuances of "Ogenki desu ka?" and a new movements in Japanese politics

Ogenki desu ka? This is one of the first phrases a student of Japanese encounters, and it corresponds to the greeting "how are you?" although "are you well?" is a better translation as it's a yes/no question. In the context of this greeting, genki means "fine" or "well" and you can reply to this greeting by saying Hai, genki desu (Yes, I am fine). But genki can have other meanings, such as describing children running around ("energetic"), or someone beaming with happiness about something, or someone getting healthy after an illness. The word can also refer to a man in state of, er, woodiness. The o on ogenki desu ka is an honorific prefix that shows respect, and it's often found on family titles (okaasan = mother, obaasan = grandmother), Buddhist words (otera = Buddhist temple), and "cute" words often around kids or babies (oshiri = a cute-sounding word for a person's rear end).

The newest theme in Japan's political world is eliminating waste, and Japanese municipalities are nothing if not good at wasting the public's money. Although the concept of company employees enjoying guaranteed lifetime employment faded during the 1990s, Japan's sprawling layer of bureaucratic komuin (koh-MOO- een), public employees who work in city and prefectural offices, have never had to fear recessions or budget cuts or risutora, the Japanese word for layoffs (from the English word "restructure"). Due to the lack of oversight and years of poor planning, there are too many public employees, three million in the entire country of 120 million, and their salaries add up to a whopping $180 billion a year. Engaging in "bashing" of public employees is a popular pasttime by average Japanese, and my wife is always happy to tell me how slow the clerks moved in the City Office when she went to pick up an official copy of a document. When someone from the city needs to come out to J-List to check on, say, a telephone pole, you can be sure that at least three engineers will show up, two more than are probably needed. Before I started J-List in 1996, I was fortunate to get to work for five months in the local City Office, and I got to see first hand how municipal government worked from the inside. My job was to publish a newsletter for the English-speaking residents of our city, and to act as a bridge between Japanese employees in the city government and foreigners who couldn't speak the language. Having seen both sides of the coin, I can say that there is a lot of room for improvement in Japan's municipal government.

Among the many unique products J-List offers are the DVDs, photobooks and magazines of Yulia Nova, a beautiful Russian model who was discovered by a Japanese photographer and became a sensation both here in Japan as well as on the Internet. Her next three DVDs are coming soon, and we've posted them for preorder now. The new titles feature all new footage shot over the past year that allows fans to see Yulia in a variety of amazing scenes through three seasons: Moscow in the Winter, Spring and Summer. The new titles are long playing (85 mins. each) and are mosaic-free, too!

J-List sells our wacky original T-shirts with funny slogans in Japanese, as well as unique Japan-related designs. While many stores only stock the most popular sizes of T-shirts (typically M-XL), J-List goes out of our way to make as many sizes as we can available, from S (and even XS, on some of the girl's shirts) to 2XL and 3XL for the men's shirts and hoodies. We've posted 3XL sized shirts for our popular kanji shirts (Gaijin, Ecchi and Sakebito), so if you need a larger size, come visit J-List now. We've also got many close-out designs that we're clearing out to make room for new shirts, so if you're on the large side, be sure and browse our site for some bargains!

Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work." To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	Sabra 018 Oct 2005 with DVD. Nice new issue of Sabra, the very elegant magazine for fans of beautiful Japanese models. Comes with a DVD (region free, too), making it an amazing value.
	Bunny's Angel -- Chinatsu Matsushita. A new Bunny's Angel photobook w/ DVD. This is a popular series of chaku ero photographs, where the girl is wearing clothes (chaku) but is very, very erotic (ero). I'd have to agree in this case.
	Tenchi Muyou Heroine Collection -- Full Set *Set of 6* Here's something cool: a series of figures from Tenchi Muyo (which means "This End Up" according to Tomo, although judging from the kanji, I think it means the opposite).
	Eject Milk Business ~ Deru Deru Chichi Nes. Very nice manga with a special focus on one of the more popular themes at J-List these days, futanari.
	Gekidan vol. 2. For yaoi fans, here's a new manga anthology for you collecting a lot of different works inside. Very large book, with 230+ pages.
	Kanji Magnet -- Bi *Colored Background* ~ Beauty. I love these magnets, that present a simple, beautiful kanji on a magnet, with attractive Japanese image behind.
	Audio Strap for iPod nano *White*. Got an iPod nano? Here's your case, direct from Elecom, which came out with a line of Japan-only Nano goods recently. Very nice style, with a special guide for your earphones that's better than Apple's offering.
	iPod nano *Silicone* Case -- Black. Anothter nifty case for the nano, available in white or black (natch).
	DX Calcifur Plush Doll w/ Firewood -- Giant ~ Howl's Moving Castle. You've seen the really, really big Totoro plush, now here's the Howl version of it: a huge plush Calcifur the Fire Demon, sitting on his log and burning. It's cool! No, it's hot!
	Super Mario Brothers Figure -- Individual Box ~ Nintendo Dot Graphics Stage Figure. We have sold the dioramas of Super Mario Bros. for a while, but we had got some new ones and said, why don't we issue them as individual (random pieces) rather than in sets? So here you go.
	robot vol. 4 ~ Super Color Comic 4. New issue of Robot, annoyigly written with a lower case 'r'. Excellent, excellent art int his book, especially the Range Murata stuff.
	Hello Kitty Christmas Tree Ornament Set A (Set of 4). Have a Hello Kitty Christmas this year with these cool ornaments from Japan, four packages of attractive ornaments that you can use to decorate your tree.
	Gorgeous Goddess Yulia ~ Moscow in the Summer. Yulia Nova is returning, in an all-new trilogy of DVDs with footage that was shot by Mr. Satoshi Kizu in 2005. J-List has always supported Yulia and we just love her. This woman's beauty is unreal!

The Old West comes to Karuizawa, and World Peace through Japanese verb conjugations

This weekend we all got in the car and headed off to Karuizawa ("ka-roo-EE-za-wa"), our favorite mountain getaway, for a dip in the hot springs at the foot of volcanic Mt. Asama. Driving through the town, we stopped off at the Cowboy House restaurant, a hilariously overdone recreation of an Old West steakhouse complete with barbecue sauce, baked beans and even Coors beer. The cowboy atmosphere was so complete that a funny thing happened when we left: I momentarily forgot which side of the road I should be driving on. It seems my subconscious had somehow analyzed all the American stuff around me and decided to go into "America mode." Fortunately I caught myself and got back on the right (left) side of the street.

Japanese is an "agglutinating" language, which basically means that it puts lots of information (past tense, passive voice, etc) inside the verb form, which is good because you don't have a lot of helping verbs flying around ("he would have been able to help her if she'd told him"), but a little difficult because you have to memorize more verb forms. Most of the time learning the verbs is not a problem since they follow reliable patterns. For example, three verbs you learn early on are the formal verbs tabemasu (to eat), nomimasu (to drink) and ikimasu (to go), which act as both simple present and future tense (both "I go (every day)" and "I will go" in one verb conjugation). Change the masu to mashita and you have the formal past tense ("I went") -- very easy. Some other forms that exist are informal present tense (iku), also called dictionary form since this what you find in dictionaries; an informal past tense; a command form; and the useful "te" form which you can use to make requests (tabete kudasai, please eat) or join words together (take + come combine to form "bring").

Another verb ending students of Japanese learn early is masho, which corresponds to "let's...," as in "let's eat" (tabemasho), "let's drink" (nomimasho), or "let's go" (ikimasho), to use the above examples. This is more than just a handy suffix to allow you to say many things in Japanese -- it's actually a reflection of Japan's unique group-centric culture. In a non-smoking area in the U.S., you'd probably see signs saying something like "do not smoke," giving you no choice in the matter. In Japan, however, it's common for such notices to use the gentler "masho" ending, effectively saying "let's not smoke in non-smoking areas," (tobacco o yamemasho), "let's put our telephones into vibration mode" (manner mode ni shimasho) and so on. It seems to be part of the Japanese psyche that they respond better to an inclusive request rather than a specific command or rule. This "let's request" form has a very soft sound to it, and parents and care-givers use it to make even the most stubborn child do what's asked of them.

Remember that J-List is brimming with great 2006 calendars
right now, with more than 200 different anime, JPOP, swimsuit idol, nature photo, desktop, sports, and other items in stock. In addition to very popular calendars -- Studio Ghibli, Howl's Moving Castle, Mihiro, Reon Kadena -- we also make it our mission to provide an amazing selection of other calendars that are only sold in Japan, from the esoteric to the bizarre to the just plain fun. Studying Japanese, or just like the aesthetic look of kanji? We've got several calendars that feature Japanese words and slogans, beautiful kanji proverbs, and more. Interested in Japanese contemporary art? We've got some great art calendars in stock this year. Love Japan's attractive actresses or swimsuit models? We've got many to browse through. A word of warning though: Japan is a very seasonal place, and these great calendars are only available now. The best time to make your 2006 calendar order is now!

Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work." To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	The Smiling Nurse ~ Warau Kangofu Limited ver. (with Doujinshi). This is pretty cool -- a boxed set of amazing H manga from Kengo Yonekura (one of the most talented artists in Japan these days). I just love to see Japan's erotic comics, which are so special anyway, brought out an in innovative package like this.
	Fujiya Japon Chocolat "Miyabi Hime". One of the keywords in the chocolate industry this year is "damned nice packaging," Hot on the heels of this year's quality Wine and Kit Kat Noir, Fujiya's Japan-themed chocolates are fantastic to eat and also to open.
	Santa Jack *Bendable* Mascot -- The Nightmare Before Christmas. Long before Nightmare Before Christmas was suddenly cool again, poor old Jun Planning was plugging away making cool products. Here are some of their latest, great for a scary Christmas this year.
	Kitty Chirimen Kinchaku Money Purse -- Red. Another cool Hello Kitty Kimono fabric thing, this is a plush Hello Kitty face with bag that's big enough to hold just about anything you need.
	Totoro Karuta. I was really impressed with this -- Japanese Karuta (a fun game that teaches kids hiragana) that features the Totoro art on it. Really beautiful!
	The Human Anatomy in Color -- Full Set + Rare Item *Set of 9*. Japan has long been famous for its super detailed miniature toys, recreating anime figures and meals in perfect scale. For those with a medical bent, here is the human body recreated for you in amazing detail!
	Teresa Testarossa 1/6 Scale Figure *Summer School Uniform* -- Fullmetal Panic Fumoffu. Wow, they don't get much better than this: a figure of Teresa Testarossa from Fullmetal Panic, in the middle of undressing for you, a fantastic 3-D recreation of a stolen moment in the sports equipment storage room. Ooo, I'm all aflutter.
	do-up! DVD vol. 1 (with DVD 90 min). Another issue of Do-Up! (which sounds like something wet dripping loudly to the Japanese), this one comes with a DVD for added enjoyment.
	Very Best of Smart Girls. We've always pushed the Smart Girls magazines when they were coming out because this is just too damned cool not to be known -- stylish photography of women, with the cutest underwear, camera angles and rooms. We've come to call this kind of photography "Japanese Girls in Underoos" becasuse they often shoot the girls with them on.
	"A" Class Busty Criminal DX 5. Another "A" Class Busty Criminal release, which parodies the top class of war criminals after World War II (which were called A-kyu Senpan, whereas this series is A-kyu Nyuhan). And they say historical humor is dead.
	Watermelon-cup Female Announcer -- Reira Kato. Another wacky "newscaster" fetish DVD, this time with the lovely Reira Kato. Newcasters (aka Female Announcers) are the cutest of the cute in Japan, and naturally some men whose minds work that way get to thinking about, well, you know.

More random pictures for you to browse. This is Dairy Domo-kun and Cabbage Domo-kun, a rural version of NHK's famous mascot to advertise Gunma's good quality foods.

Daughter holding rabbits at the petting zoo slash farm we went to.

Hey, this is where they sell the Frower Angels.

Pizza Hut's pizza is not bad, but darn if their salads aren't the best in all Japan.

I was amused to see what was written on my salad dressing.