More ways that Japanese group dynamics operate, linguistic land mines, and how to really appreciate Pop Tarts and Peanut Butter

I talked last time about some of the mechanisms that are in place to keep Japan's group-oriented society running smoothly, and I've witnessed various forms of "wa maintenance" as an English teacher. Now, Japanese who go all-out to master English can sometimes be a little odd, and we had one very smart student at our school named K who was sure the best approach to learning the language was to memorize the dictionary page by page. When she got a wrong answer in class she would slap herself loudly, and then there was her unfortunate habit of trimming her nails by peeling them by hand, sometimes until they were bloody. I watched for months as the other members of the class took great pains to make K feel like part of the group, eating lunch with her and looking the other way when she did something strange. One day she made an especially embarrassing goof then made it worse by slapping herself repeatedly, which looked so ridiculous that the other students couldn't stand it any more and burst out laughing. I could tell they'd tried hard to keep the poor girl from feeling bad, but we all have our limits. Actually everyone seemed to be better friends after the incident.

Every language has certain built-in traps which will invariably be stepped on by learners coming in from other languages. Tomo told me once he's terrified of using a perfectly good word for "cat" because of his fear that it will be confused with an anatomically descriptive slang word, and when Yasu was studying in Philadelphia, he tried to use the word "Bro" with his friends, but they mis-heard this as "bra." Another famous problem area are the L/R pronunciation issues, since the two sounds aren't differentiated in Japanese, and I've known people who avoid talking about politics so they wouldn't have to try to pronounce the word "election." But gaijin aren't immune to these linguistic land mines just because the tables are turned. The word seiko can mean many things depending what kanji you write it with. The most common meaning is "to succeed" (成功） or in the case of the famous watch company, "minute engineering" (精工), but one kanji combination results in an academic-sounding word for copulation (性行), and for years I was scared to utter the word "succeed" in Japanese because I thought I might be mis-understood. In Japanese, the only "bad" word (as in, so bad you'd get in trouble of you used it on TV) is similar to the word "mango" but with a "k" replacing the "g," and it's the rare foreigner who can avoid making a Freudian slip when ordering mango juice from a pretty waitress. It's easy enough avoid using the word, of course, but sometimes it pops up at you unexpectedly. The number 10,000 is "mahn" and the counter for small or round objects is "ko," so if you find plan on talking about, say, 10,000 gumballs in Japanese you might want to be careful. If you really want to value the things you have, try going to a place where they don't exist. I love living in Japan and everyday is fun, but there are many things you just can't find here, from "real" Peanut Butter to Pop Tarts to fat-free Triscuit crackers to any type of bread other than "white." When I'm in the U.S., I go out of my way to enjoy these things, and I've been known to choose lowly Miller Lite over more exotic choices mainly because of the natsukashii (NOTS-ka-SHEE, nostalgia) factor. During the Star Wars convention we went for some cheeseburgers at our hotel, and the menu offered many exotic types of cheese for my burger, from Gouda to Provolone to Havarti. But all I really wanted was good old American cheese, all but impossible to find in Japan, which prefers sliced white mozzarella (zzzzz). I'm a big proponent of the idea of sending all college-age people to another country to live for a year. If nothing else, they'll realize how good they've got it at home. Remember that J-List carries over 4000 unique products from Japan, from the traditional to the curious to the just plain weird. Since J-List is located in Japan, we've always got lots of authentic items that will amaze you, and probably teach you about Japan just a little, too. There are several ways to view the products J-List offers, including browsing categories, searching for keywords, viewing products updated in the past three days, viewing all products in order of last updating, or using our handy text-tree view. You can also use our newly-revamed RSS feeds to watch J-List for the new information using services like Newsgator or Google Reader -- see http://feeds.jlist.com for a complete listing of RSS feeds We've got a treat for J-List customers today: announcing the return of FX Neo minty eyedrops from Santen. An incredibly popular item from Japan, these eyedrops are guaranteed to wake you up and keep you alert for late-night programming, studying, driving or any other time when you need a boost. Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work" (a yes/no verification screen will be displayed to filter products from our mature site). To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	The Hoshino 2002-2007 -- Aki Hoshino. Fabulous "mook" covering everything that's good about Aki-chan.
	FX Neo ~ Japanese Hard Minty Eyedrops eye drops JAPAN. By customer request, we've brought back the most excellent eyedrops Japan has ever seen!
	Dessin Labo series 1 ~ Kihon no Nude Pose. A book of beautiful nude poses, for artists.
	Futanari Female Teacher -- Manami Amamiya. Amazing exploration of the "futanari" theme from TMA.
	Kera Nov 2006 vol. 100. Cool issue of Kera for you. Love all the photos in this magazine.
	Okami Game Book with DVD ~ Garyo Tensei. Great artbook for fans of the Okami game, comes with DVD..
	Queens Blade ~ Queens Boreido. Amazong futanari and much more in this new doujinshi from the TGWOA people.
	Pakira 1/7 Figure w/Polo System ~ Magical Pokaan . A great figure coming soon. Preorder yours now.
	Arcadia Battle Ship ~ Arcadia of My Youth *Preorder*. The Arcadia is the baddest pirate ship in all anime-dom.
	Limit Break. Gorgeous ero manga about breaking limits.
	Hello Kitty ONSEN Chirimen Strap ~ Pink. Wow, this Hello Kitty hot springs phone strap really rocks. I wish I were in a hot bath right now.
	Puppy Hello Kitty Animal Bubble Head vol.1. DESCRIPTION
	Womens Tatami Sandals -- Red & Pink Kimono Pattern ~ Size 6. Attractive tatami sandals from Japan, made with real "igusa" grass.
	Figumate Mecha-Musume Figure -- Complete Set *8 Figures*(5 of Full Set & 3 Alternate Colors). These Figument Mecha Musume toys are great -- full sets are in stock.
	Sohryu Asuka Langley School Uniform Ver. *Neon Genesis Evangelion*. GREAT Asuka sculpt. Makes me think they scanned it from her body or something. Oh, I forgot she's not real.
	Rising Carp T-shirt -- Black ~ M Size. Beautiful "Match Logo" T-shirt, made in Japan.
	Wata Gum Cola ~ Cotton Candy Gum. It starts out as cotton candy, then turns into gum in your mouth. So cool.