On watching Shrek 2 in Osaka Dialect, frustration at the correct way to pronounce "Appatomatox" and thoughts on returning home

The other day I went into the living room to see my kids glued to the TV even though it was thirty minutes past their bedtime. They were watching Shrek 2 on Japanese television, which surprised me because like most kids aged 12 and 10, they'd seen the movie on DVD about a jillion times. "But this is in Japanese!" my daughter said. "It's so funny -- Shrek is speaking Osaka-ben!" This is the dialect of Osaka, about as different-sounding to the ear from "standard" Tokyo speech as New York or Massachusetts English sounds compared to standard American English, defined as whatever the newscasters speak, since we don't officially tie our language standard to a physical location like many other countries. Osaka-ben (or more accurately, Kansai-ben) is the dialect of laughter, and it seems that virtually all comedians in Japan are fluent in it; Tokyo's dialect is much less colorful, more "we're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe." The added flavor of the Osaka dialect added humor to Shrek's jokes and made the film more interesting for Japanese viewers.

How you pronounce Appatomatox, the town where the American Civil War officially ended? Or Diplodocus, one of the largest dinosaurs to ever walk the Earth? These two words are among hundreds of others that are nearly impossible to say correctly until you've heard them spoken by others. "Pneumonia" was another hard one for me, and for some reason, it took me eighteen years to learn that you don't pronounce the "p." Although there are plenty of pronunciation issues in Japanese -- it can be very difficult to read certain kanji characters, unique names of people or place names from Northern Japan, which usually derive from the Ainu language -- at least words written in katakana can always be pronounced more-or-less spot-on because the system is syllable-based. I've heard many anime fans pronounce Evangelion with a soft "g" as in "angel." While this is understandable given the abundance of angels in the series, the katakana doesn't lie: the correct pronunciation is evan-GELL-ee-on, with a hard "g."

Once again I've made the very long jump between Japan and the U.S., and have had to force myself to switch gears from "Japan" to "America" mode. I've flitted between the two countries so often that it becomes second nature, although driving on the other side of the street always takes some care -- remember, always make sure you, the driver, are nearer to the center of the road than your passenger, no matter what country you're in. Right now I'm attempting an experiment involving massive jet lag, a bottle of Bass Ale and some interesting color hallucinations. I'm in the U.S., of course, for the upcoming Anime Expo event June 29-July 2 in Long Beach, which is going to be a huge party. We hope you'll be at the show, and look forward to seeing you there! If you can't make it, remember that J-List is always online, operating 24/7 to make sure you never want for anything wacky or cool from Japan.

J-List has been involved with evangelizing Japan's amazing "dating-sim games" for years, and today we've got a new announcement for you: the next upcoming "mystery title" to come out from G-Collections, which is Amorous Professor Cherry. A fabulous game created by the artist of The Sagara Family and Virgin Roster and with a story by the scenario writer for Crescendo, we think this will be one of G-Collections' best titles yet. The game is in translation now and will be released in the coming moths. Fans can show their support for English bishoujo games by preordering the game now! Thanks, as always, for supporting our efforts to build a market for these games in the English speaking world.

Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work." To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	Love Trip ~ Yoko Kumada and Misako Yasuda DVD Photobook II. Lovely photobook starring Yoko and Misako, total hotness.
	Tekoki Sexual Clinic. Relieve your daily stress at a special place that's here to serve you.
	Hadaka no Kokoro -- Nao Oikawa. Nao-chan has owned the title of "Queen of JAV" in the past, and it's great to see a new photobook for her fans.
	TEKKONKINKREET ~ Limited Edition (region 2). Fabulous (and bizarre) film that turns the animation world on its ear. Now available on DVD direct from Japan, in two versions!
	Niku Tai Ha vol. 5 ~ Nikutaiha 5 (Muscle Body Faction). For fans of muscular, buff bods with their yaoi.
	Rozen Maiden Kunsterk Illustration Book. I have to say, although it's an anime about dolls, I love Rozen Maiden. Great characters, great writing and I've only watched the first season. This is the official design art book for the series.
	Female Panther 5 ~ Mehyo Revolution 5. Gorgeous new issue in the series. This is the artist who did G-Collection's popular game Sensei 2.
	Dixie Clemets 1/8 Figure ~ Rumble Rose *Preorder*. Great new figure for preorder. These Rumble Roses figures have all sold out quickly in the past so get your preorder in.
	DEATHTOPIA ~ Death Topia. For those who love deserted places.
	Amourus Professor Cherry *Preorder*. Great new game coming soon from G-Collections. Please show your support by preordering it. Thanks!
	Black Sake Set ~ Sake Server + 2 Cups . Sake will be even more delicious served in this.
	Blue (Sorairo) Totoro Beach Towel 140 X 190cm ~ Extra Large. We've got new colors of the giant Totoro Beach Blanket, also great for use as a light summer blanket.
	Neri-Keshi / Kneading Eraser -- Cola Scent . For all those times when a boring eraser won't do.
	Hello Kitty Kimono "Warabe" Doll -- Purple. I just love the way these Hello Kitty dolls look. Styled with a kimono from the Heian Period.
	Domo-kun Square Plush Strap G -- Eyes Half Shut. New Domo-kun toys! These are soft plush Domo-kun keychain straps that you can use on your phone, camera, keys, etc. And they have different expressions.
	Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star ~ Seikimatsu Gekitouroku Figure Collection vol.1. Is this not totally cool? I'm already dead, looking at this.
	Kabaya Kari-Pori -- Cola & Ramune. Delicious J-Snack from Japan in Cola and Ramune flavor.