The challenge of raising kids in a foreign country, more on the shrine China and Korea love to hate, and a Shinto ceremony in my living room

First of all, a minor computer problem here in Japan caused some delays in processing orders on Friday. We're very sorry for the problem -- all is working again now!

Sometimes it can be a challenge raising bilingual kids in a foreign country. While I'm more than capable of looking over my son's English assignments and diary entries and help my daughter with finding information on the Internet, I'm not exactly equipped to help them with their kanji, especially as they get older. My son is currently struggling with Classical Japanese History right now, and I'm not able to help him -- I don't have much of a sense for the nuances between the Kamakura and Ashikaga Bakufu periods of the post-Yoritomo era. Japan is a very test-oriented society, and one of the skills students pick up is getting very good at how to study for tests, something I see in my son as he prepares for the next level of the Step Test, a standardized English test that's popular here. My son is twelve and will be a teenager soon. I know this because he recently asked me what the words BRB, LOL, and ROTFL meant.

Yasukuni Shrine, the shrine in Tokyo that honors Japan's war dead, is controversial because the bones of Japan's former military leaders are also interred there, including the head honcho himself, wartime Prime Minister Hideki Tojo. For years no one thought anything about the shrine, until the 1980s when China and South Korea started objecting to Japan's prime ministers making official visits there, partially (some might argue) to reap the political benefits gained from stirring up anti-Japanese sentiment at home. Yesterday former Taiwanese president Lee Teng-hui made a visit to the shrine. He stressed that the visit, which was to honor his older brother who died in the war, was as a private individual, but the image of a former leader of an Asian country going to Yasukuni was too much for Beijing to take without voicing strong protest.

I'm sure you've all had the experience of being called home on short notice to participate in a Shinto ceremony in your living room. This happened to me yesterday -- we're about to start some remodelling in our house, redoing our bathrooms and replacing our older, allergy-unfriendly tatami mats with Okinawa-style square mats, and as is the custom here, we called our neighborhood Shinto priest out to bless the house before starting the construction. Since I am the "big black pillar" (daikoku-bashira) of the family, my wife wanted me to attend the ceremony. The priest had spread out an offering consisting of several icons of the Shinto religion, including fish, rice, clean water, oranges, a daikon radish and sake, and proceeded to bless the house and its inhabitants. Shinto is the original religion of Japan, which reveres the spirits (kami) in mountains, rivers and trees, and as a general rule, ceremonies related to life, such as baby naming or weddings, are derived from it, while Buddhism is reserved for death-related events. The Shinto priest who performed the home-blessing ceremony was the same one who did the ground-breaking ceremony when we started construction of the J-List office a decade ago. and he was fascinated with how far our little company had come, bringing Japanese products to people all around the world. (I told him we were lucky to have great customers.)

YUME MIRU KUSURI :: A Drug That Makes You Dream is the newest English-translated dating-sim game from Peach Princess, and an outstanding game it is, with rich and complex characters like the grown-up class president Mizuki, slightly spaced out transfer student Aeka, and the mysterious cat girl Nekoko. If you've been sitting on the fence about this beautiful game, we're happy announce a great new playable demo that lets you interact with the world and its characters before deciding if this title is for you. The demo is "all ages" and can be freely distributed. If you've always wondered what all the fuss about Japan's dating-sim games was, this is a great opportunity for you!

Remember that J-List has a great selection of fun and unique traditional items from Japan, including many items you couldn't find outside of souvenir shops in Kyoto. Want to explore the world of bento? J-List has dozens of bento boxes and related items on the site. How about adding a touch of Japan to your home? We recommend noren curtains, which separate rooms and add privacy to your home, and are also beautiful to look at, or consider adding a Daruma or Lucky Cat. Looking for something cool to wear this summer? We've got a full line of traditional Japanese sandals, from the tall wooden geta to "tatami" sandals that feel great on the feet, with styles for both men and women. We also have plenty of "wacky" traditional items, too, from authentic fundoshi underwear worn by the samurai to our solar-powered Lucky Horse (to help you win at the track?), so browse our products now!

Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work" (a yes/no verification screen will be displayed to filter products from our mature site). To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	More and More -- Reina Matsushima. A fabulous magazine + DVD from a woman who is all woman.
	Dengeki Comic Gao July 2007. Super thick issue of Dengeki Gao, filled with beautiful manga to read through.
	Office Lady with Panty Stocking II. For fans who want to explore Japan's fascinatoin with "OLs."
	Rei Ayanami Party Dress Ver. *Neon Genesis Evangelion*. Rei-chan never looked like this in the series.
	Tattoo Lifestyle vol. 15. Everything you wanted to know about the state of the art of tattooing in Japan today.
	Korean illustration. Beautiful illustrations from some of Korea's most amazing artists. I'm guessing they're mostly from South Korea.
	Hello Kitty Hariko Daruma -- Gold ~ Handmade Traditional Style Daruma. Hello Kitty gold daruma, kawaii!
	Womens Tatami Sandals -- Black & Pink Kimono Pattern ~ Size 5. We've gotten in many tatami sandals with different styles, so check out our selection!
	White Lucky Cat Tea Cup . It's a tea cup! It's a Lucky Cat! Wow, this is an amazing item.
	Hello Kitty Orange Bubble Gum Box (60 pcs). Delicious Hello Kitty bubble gum from Japan!
	Kuro Figure ~ Tekkon Kinkreet Movie Collection. Tekkon Kinkreet is totally cool, and we've gotten in two figures from the film.
	Design USB Game Pad -- 6 buttons ~ Elecom (White). Cool USB game pad! I love the design.
	New Tomato Pretz w/Basil Flavor. Delicious new flavor of Tomato Pretz for joo.
	Morinaga Green Tea Caramel. This, this is one of my all time favorite snacks, Green Tea Caramels that taste great. I highly recommend them.
	Natural Stone Magatama Strap -- Black Onix. These are incredibly popular, the curved Japanese beads you can use on your phone or keys, or wear it as an earring to signal that you'll fight anyone at any time (which is the basis of the Ikki Tousen anime).
	Japanese Shinto Lucky Charm - Sakura Omamori good luck. Since today was a big Shinto post, I'll steer you towards some authentic "omamori" we happen to make available.

More ways that Japanese group dynamics operate, linguistic land mines, and how to really appreciate Pop Tarts and Peanut Butter

I talked last time about some of the mechanisms that are in place to keep Japan's group-oriented society running smoothly, and I've witnessed various forms of "wa maintenance" as an English teacher. Now, Japanese who go all-out to master English can sometimes be a little odd, and we had one very smart student at our school named K who was sure the best approach to learning the language was to memorize the dictionary page by page. When she got a wrong answer in class she would slap herself loudly, and then there was her unfortunate habit of trimming her nails by peeling them by hand, sometimes until they were bloody. I watched for months as the other members of the class took great pains to make K feel like part of the group, eating lunch with her and looking the other way when she did something strange. One day she made an especially embarrassing goof then made it worse by slapping herself repeatedly, which looked so ridiculous that the other students couldn't stand it any more and burst out laughing. I could tell they'd tried hard to keep the poor girl from feeling bad, but we all have our limits. Actually everyone seemed to be better friends after the incident.

Every language has certain built-in traps which will invariably be stepped on by learners coming in from other languages. Tomo told me once he's terrified of using a perfectly good word for "cat" because of his fear that it will be confused with an anatomically descriptive slang word, and when Yasu was studying in Philadelphia, he tried to use the word "Bro" with his friends, but they mis-heard this as "bra." Another famous problem area are the L/R pronunciation issues, since the two sounds aren't differentiated in Japanese, and I've known people who avoid talking about politics so they wouldn't have to try to pronounce the word "election." But gaijin aren't immune to these linguistic land mines just because the tables are turned. The word seiko can mean many things depending what kanji you write it with. The most common meaning is "to succeed" (成功） or in the case of the famous watch company, "minute engineering" (精工), but one kanji combination results in an academic-sounding word for copulation (性行), and for years I was scared to utter the word "succeed" in Japanese because I thought I might be mis-understood. In Japanese, the only "bad" word (as in, so bad you'd get in trouble of you used it on TV) is similar to the word "mango" but with a "k" replacing the "g," and it's the rare foreigner who can avoid making a Freudian slip when ordering mango juice from a pretty waitress. It's easy enough avoid using the word, of course, but sometimes it pops up at you unexpectedly. The number 10,000 is "mahn" and the counter for small or round objects is "ko," so if you find plan on talking about, say, 10,000 gumballs in Japanese you might want to be careful.

If you really want to value the things you have, try going to a place where they don't exist. I love living in Japan and everyday is fun, but there are many things you just can't find here, from "real" Peanut Butter to Pop Tarts to fat-free Triscuit crackers to any type of bread other than "white." When I'm in the U.S., I go out of my way to enjoy these things, and I've been known to choose lowly Miller Lite over more exotic choices mainly because of the natsukashii (NOTS-ka-SHEE, nostalgia) factor. During the Star Wars convention we went for some cheeseburgers at our hotel, and the menu offered many exotic types of cheese for my burger, from Gouda to Provolone to Havarti. But all I really wanted was good old American cheese, all but impossible to find in Japan, which prefers sliced white mozzarella (zzzzz). I'm a big proponent of the idea of sending all college-age people to another country to live for a year. If nothing else, they'll realize how good they've got it at home.

Remember that J-List carries over 4000 unique products from Japan, from the traditional to the curious to the just plain weird. Since J-List is located in Japan, we've always got lots of authentic items that will amaze you, and probably teach you about Japan just a little, too. There are several ways to view the products J-List offers, including browsing categories, searching for keywords, viewing products updated in the past three days, viewing all products in order of last updating, or using our handy text-tree view. You can also use our newly-revamed RSS feeds to watch J-List for the new information using services like Newsgator or Google Reader -- see http://feeds.jlist.com for a complete listing of RSS feeds

We've got a treat for J-List customers today: announcing the return of FX Neo minty eyedrops from Santen. An incredibly popular item from Japan, these eyedrops are guaranteed to wake you up and keep you alert for late-night programming, studying, driving or any other time when you need a boost.

Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work" (a yes/no verification screen will be displayed to filter products from our mature site). To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	The Hoshino 2002-2007 -- Aki Hoshino. Fabulous "mook" covering everything that's good about Aki-chan.
	FX Neo ~ Japanese Hard Minty Eyedrops eye drops JAPAN. By customer request, we've brought back the most excellent eyedrops Japan has ever seen!
	Dessin Labo series 1 ~ Kihon no Nude Pose. A book of beautiful nude poses, for artists.
	Futanari Female Teacher -- Manami Amamiya. Amazing exploration of the "futanari" theme from TMA.
	Kera Nov 2006 vol. 100. Cool issue of Kera for you. Love all the photos in this magazine.
	Okami Game Book with DVD ~ Garyo Tensei. Great artbook for fans of the Okami game, comes with DVD..
	Queens Blade ~ Queens Boreido. Amazong futanari and much more in this new doujinshi from the TGWOA people.
	Pakira 1/7 Figure w/Polo System ~ Magical Pokaan . A great figure coming soon. Preorder yours now.
	Arcadia Battle Ship ~ Arcadia of My Youth *Preorder*. The Arcadia is the baddest pirate ship in all anime-dom.
	Limit Break. Gorgeous ero manga about breaking limits.
	Hello Kitty ONSEN Chirimen Strap ~ Pink. Wow, this Hello Kitty hot springs phone strap really rocks. I wish I were in a hot bath right now.
	Puppy Hello Kitty Animal Bubble Head vol.1. DESCRIPTION
	Womens Tatami Sandals -- Red & Pink Kimono Pattern ~ Size 6. Attractive tatami sandals from Japan, made with real "igusa" grass.
	Figumate Mecha-Musume Figure -- Complete Set *8 Figures*(5 of Full Set & 3 Alternate Colors). These Figument Mecha Musume toys are great -- full sets are in stock.
	Sohryu Asuka Langley School Uniform Ver. *Neon Genesis Evangelion*. GREAT Asuka sculpt. Makes me think they scanned it from her body or something. Oh, I forgot she's not real.
	Rising Carp T-shirt -- Black ~ M Size. Beautiful "Match Logo" T-shirt, made in Japan.
	Wata Gum Cola ~ Cotton Candy Gum. It starts out as cotton candy, then turns into gum in your mouth. So cool.

Understanding group culture through photography, all about Social Security in Japan, and would you like "lice" with your bento?

The Japanese are a very group-oriented people, and one of the worst things a person can be is nakama-hazure (nah-kah-mah HAH-zoo-reh), meaning "being left out of the group," i.e. an outsider. It's funny to see some of the social mechanisms that are in place to keep groups of people functioning happily. For example, if you watch Japanese taking group photographs, they'll usually take two, so that the person holding the camera the first time can get in the second picture, and no one feels left out of the group by not being in every shot. This little ceremony is very important -- if, say, the owner of the camera were to suggest that the second picture wasn't necessary, perhaps to save film, he'd basically be putting the circle of friends at risk by allowing the implication that every member of the group wasn't as important as all the others to stand, a psychological dynamic that certainly would be rare to see in the U.S. Although you don't think of a family as an in-group, it's certainly possible to be nakama-hazure even with people you share the same home with, something my Japanese wife has learned as she watches our kids get better and better at English. Sometimes we play cruel tricks on her at the dinner table, asking if she'd like more "lice" and smirking when she says yes.

Most industrialized countries are struggling with the aging of their societies, and with its very low birth rate, Japan generally leads the pack. There are two systems that provide health insurance and retirement income in Japan, the Social Insurance System (available to any employee of a medium-sized or larger company, and their families) and the National Insurance System (available to everyone else, including self-employed). Both systems work fairy well, covering 70% of medical costs and providing a basis for Japanese retirees to live. Oddly, although everyone is ostensibly required to pay into the local version of Social Security, there are no penalties for not doing so, and many Japanese don't bother with the system at all. This includes some politicians, which caused a scandal that ended several careers a few years ago. Currently Japan's Social Security system is in hot water after losing data on up to 50 million citizens who paid into the system over the past twenty years, including that of yours truly -- we recently asked for a report on the payments I'd made when I was teaching ESL and were told they didn't have me in their computer. It turns out that a change in the number used to track these payments caused information on millions to disappear, causing extra retirement headaches for many.

Bento, Japan's visually beautiful boxed lunch, has become a famous image of the country throughout the world, and very popular with J-List customers, too. The Japanese have a tradition called shoku no bi, or "the beauty of food," and many dishes are aesthetically pleasing to look at as well as being delicious. In keeping with this great concept, bento becomes much more than something you eat at lunchtime. It can be an art form, as wives and mothers show their creativity each day with fun and delicious new ways of cutting sausages into little flowers or crabs or octopi. Eating a boxed lunch that your wife or mother has put a lot of effort into can really make a person try extra hard at work or school, and it's not uncommon for bento to include the word GANBATTE! (gahn-BAH-teh, meaning "Please work hard!") spelled out in cut nori seaweed. Ultimately, bento can be an expression of love in a country where married couples might spend their entire lives together without ever saying "I love you" to each other, and the image of a young salaryman eating his aisai bento (or "loving wife bento") is extremely romantic.

J-List has been involved with bringing Japan's PC dating-sim games out to fans in the English-speaking world for years, and we're really happy with the acceptance the games have achieved. In addition to our extensive line of bishoujo ("pretty girl") games which feature all manner of pretty anime girls for you to interact with, we also have the first-ever yaoi games for fans of dramatic "BL" stories, and fans of these yaoi games will be happy to hear that we're reducing the prices of both Enzai - Falsely Accused and Absolute Obedience by $5 today, making today a great day to give these titles a try. Fans of our traditional games, we've got some good news for you, too: we're reducing the price of the upcoming Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048 by $5, too, with retroactive pricing for all fans who have preordered the game. Why not browse our great lineup of PC dating-sim games now, and see what surprises we have in store for you?

Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work" (a yes/no verification screen will be displayed to filter products from our mature site). To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	Gorgeous Nov. 2006 vol. 01. Gorgeous new magazine just released. Covers harder themes and features a DVD too.
	Mejiri -- Reina Sakaki. The Mejiri series is famous for this rather interesting pose on the cover. It's been running for more than twenty years. Yes, American pr0n companies sometimes rip the pose off thinking no one will notice.
	Amuro Cos! -- Ami Yamazaki. Amuro is of course Amuro Namie, the girl who changed the face of JPOP a decade ago (did you think it was Amuro Rei?). This is a real mainstream actress who's been tempted into a career change by SOD. God she looks good.
	Newtype Feb 2007. New issue of Newtype, loaded with color.
	Directory of 800 Train Station Bento ~ Shun no Ekiben Meikan 800. Loads of information on Train Station Bento from all around Japan.
	Coakuma Peach ~ Peachy Little Devil - Koakuma Peach. Peachy Little Devil? Anyway, a fascinating manga about gyaru, aka "gals" or their old name, kogals.
	Hatsu Inu 2 ~ First Dog part 2. Fascinating ero manga combining some of the most amazing themes I've seen, and that's saying something.
	Figure Maniacs vol. 24 Spring 2007. New issue of Figure Maniacs, the magazine for people who really love anime figures. I swear I could read this thing for days without getting tired of it.
	Haruhi Suzumiya Gakuran Costume 1/8 Figure ~ Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu *Preorder*. New Haruhi figure up for preorder. Looks great.
	Hello Kitty Hariko Daruma -- Red ~ Handmade Traditional Style Daruma. This is fabulous -- a Hello Kitty Daruma! It will bring you lots of "kawaii" good luck.
	Sonsaku Hakufu 1/8 Figure by Kotobukiya *Ikki Tousen* . New Hakufu figure, but limited stock so don't be too slow on it if you want one of them. This is from Ikki Tousen, the show that raised panty shots to an art form.
	Hello Kitty Chirimen OTEDAMA ~ Red. Also got more of the Hello Kitty "otedama" toys again.
	Space Battleship Yamato Mechanical Collection Part.1 ~ Full Set (Set of 5). Cool! Yamato toys, including the Andromeda, the most excellent ship anywhere.
	Sukiyaki Furikake -- Sukiyaki (Beef & Egg). A "delicious" flavor of furikake for your rice.
	Japanese Sake Brand Cafe Bag -- Otoko-Yama ~ Black. New "sake bag" for men or women. Looks great.
	YAKIUGI -- Baked Japanese Cedar ~ Geta Sandals. New variety of stylish Japanese sandals on the site.
	Kuro Figure ~ Tekkon Kinkreet Movie Collection. Tekkon Kinkreet is looking to be awesome, and here's a figure from the series.
	Absolute Obedience - Zettai Fukuju Meirei . For yaoi fangirls and fanboys (mostly fangirls, since yaoi is enjoyed by like 90% straight girls who are usually hot, go figure), we've reduced the prices of the two yaoi titles we've published. Enjoy the new prices!
	Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048 *Preorder*. Also, enjoy a $5 reduction in this upcoming title, which we're doing to better line up our products, making a nice $24.95 line of lower priced new games. Preorder your copy now!