Thoughts on men and women and marriage, things that surprise foreigners in Japan, and how we sound to the Japanese

Yesterday my wife and I went to our favorite restaurant and noticed that the girl who had been working there was gone, replaced by a young man who was waiting the tables instead. I guessed why the girl wasn't around -- "I'll bet she quit to get married" -- and when we asked the owner, that was indeed the reason. When it comes to men and women there's definitely a different mind set at work over here, with a high number of women actively yearning for kekkon taishoku (leaving employment due to marriage) so they can become housewives, at least until the kids are old enough for them to return to work. While I personally believe women can do anything they set their minds to, the goals that many women in Japan set for themselves can be quite different from what's considered the norm back home. During my career as a teacher I had one student who had really dedicated herself to learning English, studying in the UK and working hard to achieve her goal of becoming a "ground hostess" for JAL, one of the most sought-after careers here. Naturally she threw all this away when a coworker proposed marriage to her, quitting her job and becoming the only perfectly bilingual homemaker in the neighborhood. The challenge for me as an outsider is to keep from judging things like this from my own local world-view, since Japan isn't the U.S. and the U.S. isn't Japan, but sometimes it can be a challenge.

I talk a lot about how difficult it is for Japanese people to learn English, with its complex grammar and pronunciation rules. But what about the reverse -- how badly to foreigners mangle Japanese when we speak it? First of all, Japanese is just a language, and it's not harder or easier than any other -- actually, the lack of equivelents for some of the complex grammar in English ("she would have been able to go...") is downright wonderful. Of course, foreigners speak Japanese with accents, and these depend on the speaker's native language -- an American speaking Japanese will sound very different from a person from China or Korea. Languages like English use intonation to stress meaning, and it's common for foreigners to accidentally apply these rules to their new language, resulting in speech that goes up and down like a roller coaster compared to Japanese, which is rather flat in intonation. (Remember my theory that Japanese people come from the planet Vulcan.) There are a lot of English words in daily use in Japan, like "weekend" or "elevator," and English speakers tend to say these words with their native pronunciations, not the (correct, in this case) more challenging oo-ee-koo-EN-doh or eh-reh-BEH-tah. Some foreigners supposedly speak Japanese too quickly: when the news program World Business Satellite comes on, I know my wife will make fun of the gaijin commentator from Morgan Stanley as he gives his rambling assessment of the latest economic numbers, somehow moving his head up and down like a chicken.

When foreigners first come to Japan, there are many things that stand out as odd to them. Using coins for the equivalent of $1 and $5 bills, which Americans aren't used to. Having 50 or more vending machines all without immediate walking distance of wherever you are, and sliding a $100 bill into one to buy a drink. Manhole covers decorated with culturally significant images from each region of the country. Getting a hot meal at a convenience store. Horizontally oriented stoplights, except in Northern Japan, where they hang them vertically due to the heavy snowfall. Stores which let you know they're about to close by playing Auld Lang Syne through store speakers. Drinks with names like Pocari Sweat, Calpis or Volume Up Water. It's all very odd, but that's the fun of going to another country, seeing what it has to offer and comparing it with what you know back home.

Here are today's "really cool products" that I've picked out for you, out of the 30+ new items we've added to the J-List and JBOX.com sites today. Note that some products may be "not safe for work" but that all links will allow you to redirect yourself either to the J-List or JBOX.com websites. To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	F-Cup Cookie for Larger Oppai. Ladies, now you can snack your way to a bigger cup size with the hit health product F-Cup cookie, which contain 50 mg of the Asian herb Pueraria Mirifica. We've got the deluxe box of 14 cookies and a smaller sampler box.
	Link Plush (M) ~ Phantom Hourglass. Fans of our Nintendo plush toys, we've gotten in a deluxe new Zelda Link plush for you, in a larger size that's a full 12 inches. Way more huggable! Great for displaying in your room or office.
	Super Mario Star Light with Sound. Also, how would you like to have your own light-up star from Super Mario World? This great replica toy from Banpresto lights up and plays music. Warning: does not provide you with actual invincibility in real life.
	Prier 1/60?Figure ~ La Pucelle. Here's a positively gorgeous pre-painted figure for you, the lovely demon hunter Prier rendered in large 1/6 size. Perfect detail, right down to her face, hair and exquisitely painted body.
	Dengeki Maoh Jan 2008. This is the awe-inspiring monthly manga published by Dengeki, featuring 700+ pages of great manga, from Tales of The Abyss to Persona 3 to the popular Utawarerumono, you've got so much to read in here, it'll be a while before you get to the free stuff included with the issue.
	Delicious New Japanese Snacks. Also, got some delicious Japanese snacks for you, including Zackl, the milk chocolate cookie that's crunchy and fun to eat, and Glico's Calfe, a dreamy almond cookie covered in chocolate meringue.
	DX Hand Made Ware Bamboo Design Rice Bowl. Here's a really special item, a large rice bowl with matching lid for eating all kinds of Japanese "donburi" (rice bowl) dishes. Beautiful hand-crafted ceramics, made with the thousand year old Mino Ware method.
	Various Study Items. Also for students of Japanese, we're restocking the Genki Picture Cards on CD-ROM vol. 1 & 2, as well as the useful Practical Business Japanese text.
	Japanese ASCII T-Shirts. The Japanese are extremely expressive, and are good at creating capturing emotions even in something as mundane as the ASCII character set. This month we're offering special prices on our three wacky Japanese ASCII shirt designs, called emoji or picture characters.
	Tattoo Shirt -- Irezumi Shirt. This is one of our longest-selling products ever, the Yakuza Tattoo shirt that makes you look like a Japanese gangster with a full-body tattoo. It's "free size" meaning U.S. size L or smaller.
	Jordh 1/8 Figure ~ Megachu by Alter *Preorder*. Here's a really nice new figure we're posting for preorder, the character Jordh from a popular game and anime Megachu, short for Beware of Goddesses. Great detail!
	Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service Plush Toys. Neko Bus (Cat Bus) is one of the most popular magical creatures from the Totoroverse, and we've restocked the cool Cat Bus with a string you can pull to make him vibrate. Also, Jiji the Cat!
	Monokuro Boo Plush Pen, Ergonomic Pen. We've also got the incredibly cute Monokuro Boo (Monochrome Oink) plush pens from San-X, as well as the more conventional Zebra New Spiral Ergonomic Pen that's super easy to write with.
	Mini Skirt Illustrated DVD vol. 91. If you like Japanese women in short mini-skirts photographed from low angles, then you've found the right magazine for you. Features beautiful "ero" photography and sizzling women, and a DVD for you to enjoy, too.
	Voice -- Alice Ogura. Alice Ogura is one of our favorite JAV stars over the year, because of her beautiful body and pouting demeanor. This is her third photobook, featuring her sizzling photographs that you will love. It's common for many girls in Japan to release a music CD as a JPOP idol, and this photobook includes her first-ever CD, too. Wow!
	Mirim Ixus 1/8 Figure Maid Costume ver. with Soft Breast Feature ~ Crimson Grave *Preorder*. This is the Cast Off figure to end all Cast Off figures. How clumsy do you have to be to get a broom caught inside your underwear? With squeezable "soft oppai" action, too. Now in stock!
	Casual Romance Club, H-Game of the Month. This month's Dating Sim Game of the Month is a unique game, the only Japan release title that was issued in English. Comes with the most beautiful printed game manual you'll ever see, and characters who speak cute accented English (or Japanese, optionally). Available at a great low price this month -- don't miss it!
	Saori Kamiya Remastering 4 Hours. I've been a fan of now-retired JAV starlet Saori Kamiya for years, and now her works are available with total re-mastering, allowing for more detail than ever before. See things you could never see before in this great 4 hour compilation of her best ero hits!
	Pretty Girl Rental Shop. I'm sure we've all rented videos from a store, found an especially cute girl behind the cash register, and wished we could rent the girl instead. Now you can, in the newest fantasy release by Soft on Demand, which tells of a very special shop in which you can rent the services if the pretty female employees by the hour or day.

As promised, here are a few pictures. Been so busy... :(

This is the pen he got from Prime Minister Hashimoto, if anyone remembers him.

Game with a letter, and is stamped with "Prime Minister of Japan" on it, which made our uncle very proud.

This was the watch he got last year. A gold plated pocketwatch, really nice.

This was the thing though, a beautiful silver cup (like the cups the fliers drank sake out of right before they went off on their kamikaze missions). Stamped with the symbol of the Prime Minister.

And here's the letter from the PM, in extra large letters. Essentially thanking him for fighting for his country so long ago. 

This was the Ise (ee-SAY), built in 1915 and retrofitted with a flight deck on the back. The flight deck didn't help much though -- while the ship did fight in Leyte, it had almost no effect on the war.