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The personal log of Peter Payne, owner of JLIST.com, the home of "wacky things from Japan"

Monday, September 08, 2008

Divorce and Japan

There's a sad statistic that's on the rise in Japan these days: divorce. The combination of the country's rapidly aging society, high stress levels and a new law that enables a woman to claim up to half of her husband's company pension is causing the number of older couples getting a "vintage year divorce" to rise. When I was an English teacher, I taught a wide range of students, including a fair number of housewives, and I remember being surprised by the venom some of the women were capable of spitting when discussing their husbands. I didn't understand at the time that at least some of this husband-bashing was part of a Japanese social custom you might call "out-humbling each other," as women try to show that they have the most worthless, lazy husband in the room. (Japanese mothers and grandmothers will do the same thing when discussing their own children with others, having competitions to see whose kids were the most baka, and I've had to expressly forbid this kind of talk in my own home.) The divorce rate in Japan is still comparatively low -- currently around 2.2 per 1000 people per year, compared with 4 in the U.S. and 2.6 in the U.K. -- but finding someone who is batsu-ichi (lit. "one strike out") is a lot more common than it has been in the past. Coupled with the trend of women either marrying much later or not at all, it Japan has some tough issues to face as the 21st century progresses.

They look so happy as they stamp that divorce document.

5 Comments:

Blogger Peter in Japan said...

Yes, the Japanese use those name stamps to indicate they are getting divorced (or married). So it's a very iconic moment in your life, if you ever have instance to use a name stamp in this way.

11:35 PM

 
Blogger Ryo said...

My Japanese parents are divorced too. I dont ever remember them doing the stamp thing....well I was way young when they divorced so I dont remember

9:01 AM

 
Blogger Gaijin_Samurai said...

It's also incredibly easy to register a marriage in Japan. My wife actually went to the kuyakusho (city hall) without me (yes, I've seen the koseki, so I know I'm officially married to her). As far as I remember I didn't have to sign or stamp anything.

And other than MUFG (Tokyo Mitsubishi Bank), the most conservative of all Japanese banks, these days, at least in Tokyo, foreign residents can get by with signing almost any kind of form. No hanko necessary.

10:44 AM

 
Blogger Peter in Japan said...

They probably did at the city office, when they turned in their documents. Yes, it's funny how there's not much involved in getting married. Did you get married inside Japan? We actually got married in the U.S. so we were turning in some document that notified the prefecture of a wedding having taken place outside of Japan.

3:04 PM

 
Blogger Gaijin_Samurai said...

Yeah, I never remember the date of our marriage registration at the kuyakusho. More important to us was the wedding ceremony (first in Tokyo, then later in the U.S.). The strange thing now is that I'm looking into applying for a spouse visa in Japan as a first step towards eijuken (permanent residency), and it looks like they want a document from the U.S. government proving we're married. Well, there is none! Only the koseki issued by the kuyakusho.

5:28 PM

 

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