The other day I was listening to the audio book of Children of Men and I heard a word I'd known of for a long time but had never encountered in my native language. The word was "filial piety," meaning the love and restpect you should show to your mother and father, and the only reason I know the word at all is because its Japanese version, oya koko (oh-ya koh-koh), comes up quite often in daily life here. While most of the James Clavell-derived images of Japanese people are completely false -- I have yet to meet anyone who was ready to commit ritual disembowelment to defend the honor of their ancestors -- one area where the classic image of nihonjin is dead on is their custom of showing special respect for their parents, both while they're alive and after they've gone on. This phenomenon is complex and takes many forms, from a son who studies extra hard so he can get into one of the cheaper national universities to save his parents money to children who alter their own lives because of the needs of their parents. For example, my mother-in-law spent some years in Tokyo in her younger days, and there was a special someone she wanted to marry, but when her parents called her back to Gunma to take over the family liquor store, she had to leave Tokyo forever. My wife, too, would have been more than happy to live in the U.S., but since she's an only child and needed to take over the family home she returned, which was good for me since I was waiting for her. So go give your mom and dad a call and show them some filial piety!
The ultimate expression of filial piety, carrying your aged mother up the stairs to bed.
5 comments:
So, do you practice filial piety at all? I think we do quite often in America, but we don't have a word for it like the Japanese do.
I think we apply it more broadly and call it respect for your elders.
Filial piety was common practice in the US before the 1930's. The eldest son would take over the family business/lands, or the eldest daughter would marry, and the parents would stay with them. During the depression, many husbands and fathers committed suicide or disappeared in shame when they couldn't provide for their families, leaving older children to be handed off to different relatives or working in factories in the days before their were child labor laws. Some factories only hired and boarded single women and men, which segregated them even further. Some country families continued the practice until the draft, when so many lost their eldest sons or young husbands that there wasn't anyone left to care for the elders. After WWII, the 60's spirit supported the free individual, and from there until present, that seems to be the norm. I suppose in Japan, where modernization began later, they are still in the social frame of mind for filial devotion.
Hello. ご無沙汰しております。
Interesting point about filial piety. Indeed it is a phrase not so commonly used in daily language but for some reason I knew about it. It was indeed the word "oya koko" that I did not know about, so thank you for the new vocab. I look forward to the look of amusement and surprise on Japanese faces when I use it in casual conversation.
Haven't posted a comment since I came to Japan as "zangyou" has been keeping me busy, but I continue to read every entry with even more enthusiasm now that I am actually in Japan and can relate better to what you have to say.
PS. Will you be making a trip here to Tokyo Anime Fair (end of March)? I was thinking of visiting, and if you're there, I would come say Hello!
Heh, I can imagine that. Hi, how are you? Do you practice filial piety? ^_^ Nice that you're in Japan and are busy -- that's a rare enough thing I gather, although we're busy as heck all the time. I will actually be in Tokyo around that time to see Shawne from Right Stuf, although I doubt if I'll attend the show as we don't do stuff with licensing directly. (I presume it's mostly the industry show for licensing of properties, right?)
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