The Concept of "Enryo," and Pizza

Last time I talked about how Japanese will (usually) avoid confronting someone directly if the individual is doing something they don't like. This behavior is part of a wider social pattern called enryo (ehn-ryoh), which means showing restraint or discretion, or used as a verb, to refrain from doing something. In general, it's considered good manners to stoically endure an inconvenient situation and defer to others when interacting socially, and most Japanese have this so deeply ingrained in them it can be difficult to turn off. The classic enryo situation is that last piece of pizza, which goes to waste because everyone in the room is too busy being polite and saying "no, you eat it" to each other. One "cure" for this overly polite behavior is the English language itself, since by its nature it forces Japanese to break their own thinking patterns, use informal speech and talk to people using their first names rather than using the -san name ending, which can create unwanted formality. So when I want to get the Japanese staff of J-List to loosen up during our annual karaoke night after our official Year-End Party, I can start speaking English and watch them relax.

Eating pizza with Japanese people is good because you usually get more for yourself.