Living in Japan and changes in your native language, of Golden Week and flying carp, and a "Gaijin Battle" on Japanese TV

Living in Japan means adapting to many things, not the least of which is modifying your native language. When I first got to Japan, I was told I spoke incredibly fast, and my students begged me to speak more clearly so they could understand what I was saying. Before I knew it, I was speaking "too" slowly, prompting my mother to ask me what was wrong when I talked to her on the phone. In my own personal dialect of Southern Californian English, I'd always referred to the thing you blow your nose with as a Kleenex, but in Japan, no one knew what I was talking about so I quickly reverted to "tissue." I've learned to order a "Happy Set" for the kids at McDonald's instead of a Happy Meal, and when I need to get some money out of my bank account I drop by the "Cash Corner," or the ATM. I've also learned that the word "sauna" has three syllables, not two. Many Western foods seem to have morphed into some pretty odd forms here. For example, when it's hot out, I might reach for some "ice" (what ice cream is usually called), and if I go to the local amusement park with my kids I might buy them each an "American Dog" (a corn dog) and "fried potato" (french fries) before we ride the "jet coaster" (roller coaster). Although these terms always feel odd at first, it's spooky how easy it is for your brain to get used to them. One television show we watch almost every week is Sanma's Super Karakuri TV, a wacky variety show that does things like ask Japanese with no special linguistic abilities to answer questions in English while subtitles translate what they are actually saying for viewers, or hold impromptu quiz shows with drunk salaryman as they stumble home late at night, or put on competitions to see which famous star can create a gourmet meal for less than $3. As with most Japanese variety shows, the interaction of the host with the various "talents" (actresses, singers, comedians) who are on that week is one of the most important aspects, and where America's Funniest Home Videos might just shut up and show you some more clips, this show will stop the action and try to get stars like cute-as-a-button idol Yuko Ogura to guess what's going to happen next. Last night they added a new section, Gaijin Battle, in which foreigners who know an incredible amount about Japan do battle by asking questions to each other, like, of all the Ultraman brothers, which is the oldest, or what was the significance of the Bakumatsu (the ending years of the Tokugawa Shogunate) on modern Japan? Canadian otaku Robert Baldwin easily dispatched his challengers and maintained his lead.

We're right in the middle of Golden Week, a cluster of Japanese holidays that usually fall near each other, which are Showa Day on April 29, originally the birthday of old Emperor Showa, aka Hirohito; Constitution Day on May 3, the date the modern Japanese constitution took effect; Green Day on May 4, a day to celebrate nature; and Children's Day on May 5. While Golden Week is a nice break from the daily grind, it's all but useless as a holiday, since the other 126,999,999 Japanese in the country also have the week off, too. Want to go to Tokyo Disneyland? Hope you enjoy waiting for six hours just to get in to the place. How about spending the day in Karuizawa, up in the mountains of central Japan? Oops, there's a 30 km traffic jam of Tokyoites trying to get into the town. This is also the season of Koi-nobori, the beautiful carp-shaped kites which families with boy children display proudly to the neighborhood. Everywhere you look in Japan right now you can see beautiful streaming carp, seeming to swim upstream when the wind blows. Comic AG is the popular magazine of translated "H" manga from Japan's best artists, which gives you an amazing 80 pages of content for the low price of just $4.99. In addition to selling single issues and revolving subscriptions, we've sold handy sets of back issues in groups of five at a special price, which proved to be a popular way for our customers to complete their collections and save money. We've improved this sesame now, allowing you to buy any sets of five issues you might need, be it vol. 40-45, vol. 41-46, or the current issues, and save 20%. Comic AG is published by Icarus Publishing, and you can really feel their passion in each issue, with the super-accurate translations and the care they take with the printing, making sure to work from the original artist pages, not the published Japanese edition as most other manga publishers do. J-List's region free DVD players make it easy to enjoy DVDs from every corner of the globe, be it imported anime or "Indies" titles from Japan, Europe-release PAL format discs, rare releases from Asia, you name it. We've added a great new high-end DVD layer that's loaded with features, including *upscaling* to high-def LCD or Plasma TVs, allowing DVDs to be scaled up to their maximum quality in 720p and 1080i format. It also features an HDMI connection (with included cable!), the best way to connect your devices since everything you need is carried through one noise-free digital connection. The player also supports MPEG 4 and AVI/XVID files burned onto DVD media, external USB drives, 5.1 speaker inputs, karaoke mic inputs, and more. What do you think of when you think of spring? Love, of course, and there's no more convenient way to experience everyone's favorite emotion than with a great bishoujo game from J-List. Called "bishoujo" or "pretty girl" games in Japanese, they're best thought of as "love-sim games" since the object of the game is to find out what you need to do to get a certain pretty anime girl to open her heart to you (or guy, as the case may be). We've got a huge catalog of innovative and fun bishoujo games from Japan, fully translated into English for you, with all manner of stories presented, and with a large selection of games available by download, too. With yaoi and Hirameki games, we've got something for every taste. Why not check out this fascinating genre from Japan? Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work" (a yes/no verification screen will be displayed to filter products from our mature site). To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	Karami 38 -- Mei Itoya. Positively beautiful photomagazine dedicated to one model. I love this format since it has no silly ads or anything other than the girl herself.
	Gekkan -- Chisato Morishita III. Chisato Morishita is one of the most beautiful women in Japan, and this is her most amazing photobook release to date. Yes, the cover is rather shocking, isn't it?
	AV Young Wife -- Nayuka Mine (region 2). One of the current trends in adult video these days is to make a "live action" version of a famous manga comic, which is what this is. Very innovative.
	Cosplay Event Negotiator. Amazing cosplay to be seen here, with girls who were actually recruited to be in AV videos at the famous Comic Market doujinshi event.
	I am Mai -- Mai Yukawa. Delightful photobook featuring Mai-chan.
	Ero-Kira Assort. Another gorgeous ero manga from Japan. I love the dreamy art in this.
	Death Note Official Movie Guide 1. Dynamite item for Death Note fans.
	Rjtech RJ-1000 Upscaling DVD Player w/ DIVX playback. And we have a new high end DVD player that *upscales* DVD to look great on your HD-TV. I'm getting one, too!
	Sushi Key Chain ~ Ebi / Shrimp ~. Sushi keychains are cool. We've got some nice ones in stock that look good enough to eat.
	Irodori ~ Color Scheme. This is a reissue of a fabulous manga from a couple years ago, rare in that it's loaded with parody doujinshi artwork from Ah My Goddess, Love Hina, Chobits and more. Highly recommended.
	Monokuro Boo Plush Box -- Black. Kawaii! A cute little black Monokuro Boo pig to put stuff inside.
	New Hello Kitty Japanese Health Mask - 3pcs . A cute way to face the next SARS outbreak. They're also good for keeping your germs off others.
	Driving Beginner's Mark (Suction Cup Type). Put this on your car and confuse Japanese drivers who see you.
	Alice L Malvin Figure *Pumpkin Scissors*. Super cute bishoujo figure from the anime Pumpkin Scissors. It's got a secret, too (click to see).
	R2-D2 Microdroid -- Remote Control ~ Star Wars. Yes! The remote controlled R2-D2 toys are back!
	Meiji Green Tea Fran Extra. Yum! A new Green Tea Fran is here, and just before summer, darn. Better hurry and get this before we remove our chocolate for the season.

Thoughts on television in Japan, April and "newly harvested rice," and that cultural question, what color is the sun?

Television (which turns 80 today) in Japan can be quite entertaining, and sometimes its fun to sit back on the sofa and see what Japan's TV networks have for me. While there are some variety shows in which they do odd things like seeing how many seconds a sexy bikini idol can stay on a mechanical bull or submerge her body in protru- sion-inducing freezing water, these types of programs are in the minority. One show I caught the other day took a simpler approach: a camera crew started at one end of the Inokashira train line that runs from Shibuya to Kichijoji, famous for its large (for Tokyo) park and drinking area, and went to each station, introducing a unique business located in the area. These included a man selling refurbished American motorcycles from the 1930's, a Japanese couple who fell in love with the unique taste of Korean food found in Los Angeles' Korea Town and now operate a restaurant that aims to recreate that taste, and a store that sells nothing but mimikaki, those traditional Japanese "ear picks." Another staple of Japanese television takes several "talents" -- a catch-all word meaning any television personality -- and sends them off through the Japanese countryside, bathing in exotic hot springs and enjoying delicious meals at Japanese ryokan inns while the camera follows them from place to place. It's hard to understand, but watching this kind of "feel good" show can have a real calming effect on a person, and I'm sure a lot of other viewers here would agree with me.

It's April in Japan, and that means two things: beautiful sakura blooming everywhere and ichinen-sei (一年生、 first graders). April is the start of the Japanese school year, and throughout the country millions of parents will be watching with teary eyes through the video finder as little Taro or Hanako start Elementary School, with cherry blossoms falling all around them. Japan's "back to school" season is a busy one for mothers, who must rush to get all the school supplies for the new school year -- if you've noticed a lot of notebooks, pencil cases and erasers on J-List lately, you know it's because that's the season here. Mothers are going to get even busier, though: they're given a list of things they must hand-make for their kids to use, including a quilted bag to put art supplies in, a "shoes bag" (sic) for carrying shoes around inside the school, and a clean towel with the child's name sewn into it for daily desk-cleaning. In addition to being the start of school, April is when new employees officially enter the work force, and somewhere in Japan right now there are a few hundred new hires at a Company Entrance Ceremony enduring a long speech from the chairman. These new employees are often referred to as first-graders or shin-mai (新米, newly harvested rice). What color is the sun? You might answer that it's yellow, or orange, or white. However, when asked this question, though, many Japanese are likely to answer "red." This seems to be a differences in cultural perception -- the red circle in the Japanese flag is called hi-no-maru or circle-of-the-sun -- and the color red does seem to have a special place in the hearts of the Japanese. Red is the color of celebration, something the Japanese imported from China, and when you attend a Japanese wedding you always leave with a bag of gifts which include sekihan, red rice that's cooked with beans in it. There are many words that incorporate the color in them, such as aka no tanin (a "red" or complete stranger), or one that took me a while to get used to, akachan (a baby), which comes from the supposed red coloring of a newborn infant, although I can't really see it. Japan's perception of color often causes confusion among foreigners, such as their use of the word "blue" to refer to the deep green of a forest and -- most confusingly -- for the color of a green traffic signal. Karoshi means death from overwork, and it's a reality in Japan, where companies demand long hours of their employees. You don't have to live in Japan to be overworked, and we've got a great new Japanese T-shirt that shows a famous symbol of tired "salarymen" returning home on the train after working through an exhausting day, with two men visible inside the train so that they form a face. The words at the top of the train say "Karoshi" and below the train is written Otsukare-sama deshita (oh-TSA-rey-sah-mah DESH-ta), which is the phrase you say to someone who's finishing his day's work, corresponding to "Thanks for working hard today." Great new T-shirt printed in Army Green. Don't work too hard! J-List stocks region free DVD players that are great for enjoying DVDs from any part of the world. Our low-cost DVD players play discs from any country out of the box, are fully compatible with NTSC and PAL TVs, come with international power supplies, and are fully warranted by the manufacturer. Best of all, they feature the ability to play DIVX and AVI format movies, in incredibly convenient feature since 4-5 movies can be put onto a single disc. We've gotten fresh stock of our high-end DVD-7050 player in stock today -- check it out now! Remember that now is a great time to pick up that delicious Sakura or Ichigo Kit Kat, some yummy Green Tea Pocky or Meltykiss, or other chocolate products that we sell. In the summer months, which are not far off now, we're unfortunately forced to remove all chocolate products from J-List since they melt like crazy. When we take our chocolate snacks off the site we always get emails from customers wondering why they can't get their favorite Crunky. So check our snack pages now! Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work" (a yes/no verification screen will be displayed to filter products from our mature site). To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	Shoko Let Mikanne -- Shoko Nakagawa. Dynamite photobook featuring Shoko Nakagawa!
	Y -- Yoko Mitsuya. Before Yuko Ogura, before Maichy, there was Yoko Mitsuya, who debuted back in the late 1990s as a very pretty idol. Now she's all grown up and looks better than ever.
	Cos Mania #1. Get your cosplay fix with this 4 hour release, excellent!
	Famous Prima Ballerina Orgy -- Yoshika Kimura (region 2). A real ballerina makes a bold career change for her fans.
	Comp Ace vol. 013. Great new issue of this popular bishoujo manga + game magazine for you, loaded with free stuff.
	Lum (Urusei Yastura) 1/6 Pure Style Doll *Action Figure. If it weren't for this show, Urusei Yatsura, none of us anime fans would be here.
	MItsuru Kirijou 1/7 PVC Figure *Persona3*. Positively beautiful anime figure in stock soon -- you can preorder it now.
	Dengeki Layers vol. 12 Apr 2007. The ultimate guide to cosplay culture, with 500+ pictures of great costumes!
	Hisoka na Oshigoto 2 ~ Secret Work 2. Great manga by Setsuna, an artist I just love the art of, due to her really subtle pictures and beautiful characters.
	Shadowing ~ Let's Speak Japanese! -- Nihongo wo Hanaso! ~ Begginer to Intermediate Edition. Great situation-based Japanese study -- a super idea!
	Aikido Basics. An excellent introduction to Aikido, the Way of Putting your Spirit Together With Someone Else. Hmm, maybe I'm trying too hard with that translation.
	Japanese T-Shirt - Tired Salaryman. Great new T-shirt, for overworked salarymen like you and me.
	Chirimen Mini Tissue Case - Blue. Nifty holder for your pocket tissue -- a great idea, and we've even got the tissue for you!
	Washi - Traditional Japanese Paper *White with Leaves*. We've gottenin some authentic washi paper, useful for many crafts.
	J-List Tissue Set (12 packs). J-List gives you free pocket tissue with each order, unless it's impossible due to the shape of your order. You can also buy them in this set of 12, in case you've got a really big thing for Japanese tissue.
	Deluxe Pentel Fude Brush Pen -- Roman Brush & Hard - XGFW50. Write like you were using a Chinese calligraphy brush!

The warmest winter ever in Japan, all about the Japanese kanji character 'ki' and excitement at my son's school

We've been watching the extra-cold winter dumping lots of snow on the U.S. this year and feeling more than a little guilty, what with Japan experiencing the warmest winter its had in decades and all. The previous 1960 record for the latest snowfall in the Tokyo area has already been smashed, and with the bizarre T-shirt weather continuing, there's talk that this might be the first snowless winter since they started keeping records back in 1876. One of the most enjoyable times to be in Japan is sakura season, when the cherry blossoms bloom with exploding fireworks of beauty, but it's been so warm this year that everyone is sure the sakura will bloom at least a full month earlier. There's also a lot of concern that with such mild weather this year, there'll be less snow in snowpacks in the mountains, leading to water shortages in the summer.

Sometimes part of the fun of studying a language like Japanese is "surfing" the linguistic elements that are totally different from anything found in one's native language. One of the most common kanji characters is ki (気）, a rather all-purpose concept for expressing abstract ideas (read chi in Chinese). Although it can be translated as spirit, soul, nature, heart, mood, feeling, or atmosphere, it mainly deals with (spiritual) energy and a person's awareness. The character is found in some elementary words that students of the language encounter right away, such as genki (happy, energetic), tenki (weather) or kuki (air). The word can express intention (seppuku suru ki = the intention to commit ritual suicide, wish I could think of a better example ^_^), and feelings or emotion (kimochi ii = that feels good). In anime series like Dragonball Z, when a character gets so filled with energy that he literally glows with fire, the word for that fire would be ki. The concept is also used in martial arts and yoga, which seek to focus the mind's ki in beneficial ways -- it also pops up in words like kiai, the verbal yell you release when focusing your strength on a task. The word can be found in several Japanese idioms that are used quite often, such as ki wo tsukete (be careful; literally "fix your body's energy and attention on the task at hand"), or ki wo tsukau (to be considerate of; literally "to use your ki on behalf of another person"). One of the most popular "talents" (an all-purpose word meaning singer/actor/ comedian/whatever) in Japan is Takuya Kimura, a member of the popular group SMAP, the male idol band that dominates much of Japan's music scene. Takuya, who plays the voice of Howl in Howl's Moving Castle, has been called both the "sexiest man in Japan" as well as the domestic version of Brad Pitt, mainly because Levi's hired "Kim-Taku" for their jeans commercials to counter Edwin's successful line of commercials featuring "Bra-Pii." Although they started out as a Backstreet Boys-like group, SMAP has utterly woven itself into the fabric of Japan's pop culture, and you really can't turn the TV on without seeing one or more members of the group hosting a variety show or doing their gourmet cooking competition thing or pulling some gag on the air, like when George Lucas came to Japan and they presented him with a beautiful Japanese sword, which turned out to be a cheap plastic light saber. Recently there's a rumor going around that Takuya and his wife, former singer Shizuka Kudo, are going to put their daughter in my son's special English elementary school this April, which has set the hearts of the school mothers all aflutter with thoughts of Japan's sexiest man attending parents' day with them. J-List sells a unique line of original T-shirts, hoodies and embroidered hats featuring funny and wacky kanji messages, and today we've gotten in a cool new design for you. Every once in a while you hear of a Japanese man who wasn't able to resist his own particular urges, and who got in trouble peeking at pretty girls. Our new wacky T-shirt warns people who see it to beware of nozoki -- peeping toms, who like to watch women secretly -- with a hilarious new design. Check it out on the site, now! Remember that J-List carries hard-to-find artbooks and manga of great Japanese artists, including Shirow Masamune, Satoshi Urushihara, Range Murata, Hidenori Matsubara, Toshiyuki Tanaka, Katsuya Terada, Shunya Yamashita and more. We also carry books that help you learn how to draw, including the popular How To Draw Manga series, Comickers, Character Design Bible and more. Why not browse our excellent selection of artbooks and see what strikes your fancy? Here are today's "really cool products" that I thought were especially noteworthy. Note: the J-List links below may be for adult products and should probably be considered "not safe for work." To see all the J-List products, check out J-List or the JBOX.com updated products link.

	Nu Beau ~ Special Nude Collection -- Kaho Kasumi, Shinju Murasaki with DVD. Fabulous nude pictures of Kaho-chan and Shinju-chan -- the latter's name means "Pearl." Vague reference to Dec. 7, 1941?
	First Photobook -- Miwa Asao. Beach Volleyball is big in Japan now, and now you can buy the photobook of the most popular "volleyball idol."
	Triptych Trading Figure -- Set of 7 *Full Set + Rare Item*. Fabulously detailed sexy figures, some of which are nude. Those Japanese are so inventive...
	Japanese T-shirt - Beware of Men Peeking (Men's standard). Wacky new Japanese T-shirt with a zany kanji message.
	Dengeki Comic Gao Mar 2007. I love the new look of Gao, and since it features the Miina manga from Densha Otoko, it's even better. This i ssue comes with a free figure -- don't miss it!
	Shiba Wanko Figure -- Full Set *Set of 5*. Aww, cute little Shiba Dogs dressed in traditional Japanese fashion.
	Sister Anthology Comics. Nice manga about, er, sisters and related nun themes.
	RPG ~ Roll Playing Girl. I love the art and video game premise of this manga. And the girl with glasses isn't bad either.
	Passage to Eternity ~ Yoshino and Omine -- Tenkai no Michi. Beautiful images of the spirituality -- Shinto and Buddhism -- of Japan.
	Pocky Decore ~ Peach. Delicious new flavor of the most deluxe Pocky ever.
	Tomica 117 -- Mitsubishi *i*. Wacky car offering from Mitsubishi, available in tiny form.
	Sakura Tea Leaf Container. Store all your loose tea with this.
	Tenori Mamegoma -- Shiro Goma *White*. Super cute plush baby seal from San-X.
	Tenori Mamegoma -- Kuro Goma *Black*. And here's his twin.
	Totoro Magnet Hook. This is cool. Hang your coat in style with a Totoro magnet hook.
	Authentic Leather and Snake Skin Setta. These are cool, authentic leather setta sandals with tops made of friggin' snake skin. They are so nice to the touch.
	Xylitol Sugarless Sunset Ruby Gum. Delicious gum. I'm chewing it right now ,believe it or not.
	Hello Kitty Toilet Paper -- green. This is really the perfect gift. I mean, whether the person you give this to loves or hates Hello Kitty, you've scored a real hit.
	Hana Fuda -- Yozakura ~ Kyoto Shogun Do. Cool card game practiced with the blessings of the ancients for thousands of yahrens. Oops, I'm channelling 1978 Battlestar Galactica again.
	Lucky Cat 2 Tier Bento Box -- Red. We've been out of bento boxes big time, but got a bunch in today. Sorry if you were waiting for one.
	Fuwarinka Gum -- Rose Flavor. This wouldn't be a product I'd think would sell a huge number, rose flavored gum and all, yet we've moved 1000 packs since we posted them. The mind reals...

Heh, I'll tell you my own favorite game. All those newfangled video games are okay, but I'm still loyal to the original Unreal Tourmanent, released in, I think, 1999. I'm using it on my Intel MacBook Pro, and the fact that it plays so nicely (even with 300 bots, see below) in Rosetta is really an amazing thing.

The reason it's so fun is that there's a nuke you can use to kill your enemies.

Of course, that's not fun enough, so here's what I do. Load the game, type SUMMON WARHEADLAUNCHER unless I'm on a level that has the nuke, get the warhead, then type ALLAMMO. Then instead of having one pansy nuke you have 999 of them. Muhahaha! LOADED is another fun command that gives you all weapons in the game.

You can then addbots if you like so that you have 100, 200 or more enemies to kill rather than the default of 16. Note that adding too many bots at once can overload the machine since most of the bots appear at the same few spawning spots which causes them to explode, and the computer has to draw 100 x 300 bits of expanding flesh on your screen.

This lets you discover a new kind of game, where basically everyone is trying to kill you but you've got a nuke. You can do fun game of trying to kill everyone else (up to 300 bots) without using any weapons other than the nuke. This means you need to shoot and duck behind obstacles, or shoot at the ceiling to take out someone before they get too close. It's quite a challenge. Another fun thing is to slow the game down so you can set up extra beautiful kills.

There's something about running down the hallway in the contrail of a tactical nuke you've just shot that's so much fun. Incidentally I've played this game so much in the past my eyes actually got infected. That's not good, is it?

Ah, beautiful stress relief... I realize my love of cheating at games goes back to my Captain Kirk complex, since I look up to him as the father I didn't have (Captain Kirk, Carl Sagan and Ernest Hemingway). I guess using NOCLIP or god mode in a game is just my own answer to the Kobayashi Maru test.